The Edge

Ah, alliteration -- how I love thee. (OK, so I don't really. But only because you remind me of how uncreative I am when I get stuck after about three words or so.)

Let's see ...

I want to be writing. I need to be writing. And yet, I am not writing -- unless you count this silly blog entry that is probably going to make me look like an ADHD poster child.

I thought I would have the second Midroc book almost done by now. Instead, I have written a grand total of ... *insert drumroll* ... one paragraph. Uh, yeah. It's a great paragraph. It oughta be. I wrote it twenty times or so. Needless to say, I fail.

I need to finish my stupid NaNo fanfic/novel. I'm at the just past halfway phase, where I hate the story, can't remember why I ever started the story, can't believe I thought up such a stupid story, and can't figure out why it's worth finishing the story. On top of all the mid-story writer angst, I have to deal with pretty much a total reconstruction of my "world view" of the show as it applies to this story. This isn't a bad thing. It's something I wanted to do to challenge myself as a writer. But, it's the first time I've written in certain aspects of the characters' relationship with each other. And I have to admit, it changes things. I didn't think it would when I started this, but it really has.

I'm thinking about writing some short stories for my Midroc characters. It would be a fun way to get back into the swing of writing them, as well as letting me get to know them better. It's weird how I spent an entire novel with them and yet still feel I know almost nothing about them. Especially Tristyn. At the same time, I can't help feeling spending more time with Midroc is a total waste. It's the book no one will ever read. In my heart, I know this. I've asked several people to read it, and, in turn several people have asked to read it. But only one person has. I mean, people have read parts of it here and there, but apparently my story and characters have no staying power. Or there isn't enough to interest people. Or I can't manage to connect with people. Or something. I have no idea what. I alternate between feeling hurt over it and thinking I should do the smart thing and cut my losses on this particular story line. Move on to something new. Something that, maybe, will be interesting. I know there is more to Midroc. There is more story for it in my head. Just ... is it a colossal waste of time bothering to write it down? More and more, I am beginning to feel the answer to that question is "yes". It's a bad feeling.

This month is kind of my LJ anniversary. I signed up for my paid account for the first time in April, so I have to renew every April. But, in the process of renewing, I looked at my other stats and realized I actually created this journal in February of 2004. I mean ... wow! 5+ years. That surprises the heck out of me. In a good way.

A few months ago, my washer started going belly up. Shortly before that, my dishwasher had stopped working. The washer still works, but it has a leak. Ditto for the dishwasher, although its leak, basically, makes it unusable because it means my kitchen floods. Not pretty. I've been babying the washing machine along for several months now, hoping it would keep working. I have a little kid. I can't be without a washer. Anyhow, come Thursday, I will have a brand new, shiny washer, dryer, and dishwasher! I'm way more excited about this than I ever thought I could get over new appliances. It makes me feel old. But happy. New washer! New dryer! New dishwasher!! Yay for hubby's crazy business travel schedule and the CC points it wracked up. Thanks to that, we ended up paying about half what we would have. Plus, everything was on sale. With free delivery and installation. Yeah, I know. I'm showing my geekdom. Still ... eeee!

Today, I had to do the grocery store. I hate the grocery store, but I went to a new Harris Teeter not too far from my house. I have to admit, for a grocery store, it's really nice. I could even grow to like it. Maybe. o_o I got the grocery shopping done for the week, so that's a good thing.

I made French Onion Soup for dinner tonight. It's so time consuming, but it's also a really good, hearty soup. It was a little easier this time because I cut the onions and leeks and grated the cheese ahead of time. That cut down on my prep time, although the onions about killed me. I cry and cry when I cut onions -- to the point where, basically, I can't see. It's absolute torture. Thankfully, the soup was good, which made the effort worth it.

Tomorrow, I have to do a Target run. I don't want to because it's one of my volunteer days at my kiddo's school, and I wanted to use my free time in the morning to (hopefully)get some writing done. But, kiddo needs a few things, so ... off I go. At least Target is fun. I like that store.

I guess that's it. I'm sure there were other things, but darned if I remember what they were. >.O