The Edge

I'm ... not sure, really.

Before I started collecting cels, I used to collect other miscellaneous anime items -- cards, pins, notebooks ... and, in particular, pencil boards. Once I started in on the celluloid habit, I kind of dropped all my other anime interests. The pursuit of plastic trumps anything and everything. I know, in the event any non-cel collectors are reading this, they are staring at the screen and shaking their head in wonder. But any of my cel buds would understand immediately. Cel (and sketch)collecting isn't just a hobby. It isn't just an obsession. It's a life-style choice. I kid you not. The really scary thing is that I'm quite comfortable with that fact. But, that's another story for another LJ entry, I suspect.

Anyhow, I've recently found myself drawn, once again, to pencil board auctions. I used to have quite a large collection, but, over the years, I gave some away and lost some. You know ... in that way that the flotsam and jetsam of your life sort of gets put aside and forgotten. After looking at a few auctions, both on YJ and ebay, I pulled out my remaining pencil board collection and realized: "Hey! These things are neat!" It reminded me of why I was so enamored of them in the first place, and, also, seems to prove that my magpie tendencies (as in OOOH! SHINY!) are, indeed, well-established. Looks like I was primed for the cel obsession before I even knew it.

A couple of weeks ago, I snagged two Loveless pencil boards off of ebay. They arrived yesterday, much to my delight. And, I was struck by an inspiration ... an epiphany, if you will ...

I would start putting my pencil board collection up on my website. (Yeah, OK ... it doesn't qualify as an "epiphany", but, yeah ...) I just thought it would be a rather fun addition, especially since it seems I still have that urge to seek these little lovelies out. I just spent an hour or so scanning in the ones I still have. My collection isn't nearly as large as it used to be, and I believe I missed a couple of boards that are stored somewhere else in the house. But, all the same, it was a lot of fun just seeing all of them again.

So, what do you think? A new addiction? An obsession revisited? Or, perhaps, something I never left behind. Old otakus never die ... they just go broke trying.

Like I really needed yet another anime to adore. Grrrr.

Yes, I just finished watching the last disc of Samurai Champloo. Yes, it is way, way past my bedtime. Yes, I lack any form of common sense and/or good judgment. But, before turning in, I just had to log on to say:

OH ... MY ... GOSH ... I LOVE THIS SHOW!!! Love, love, love, love, love, love, love.

And, Jin. Could there be a more amazing, more heroic, more self-sacrificing character? Nope. Don't think so. (Uh, not like he was my fave from the show or anything ... *sheepish grin*)

I had to watch some of his more stellar "hero moments" from the last episode a couple of times. *sigh* I swear, at the end, when he made "that speech" ... well, it just made me cry like the pathetic fanbrat I am. Yep. Yet another anime man I wanna tie up and toss in the bish closet. I'm already clicking off scenes in my head that I want to screencap and then beg fancels of. Because, let's face it -- I'm either never gonna find sketches or, if I do find 'em, I'll never afford them. Bleh.

OK. That is all ... I can go to bed now, a happy, little otaku geekazoid fangirl. *grin*

All right. It's 4:31 AM, and I'm one pooped but happy otaku. Why, you ask? Or, well, you didn't, but I'm gonna tell you, anyhow. (Aren't you glad? *ebilgrin*) I just finished watching Howl's Moving Castle for the bazillionth time ... but, this time, I actually managed to grab screencaps from it. Yep. Got the whole movie capped now. Wheee!

*does tired but happy otaku dance*

Now, I just have to do My Neighbor Totoro ... um, among other things. Sheesh. Screencapping. My work is never done. *sigh*

Or, the TV screen, as it were. *snicker*

Yep ... yesterday was a red-letter day!! The US release of Howl's Moving Castle on DVD. I had gotten one of the Japanese discs when they were first released (not a bootleg, but an "official" one *beams with pride*). It came with a cute little model/statue of the castle, as well as one of those nifty film cubes -- can't pass up a bonanza like that. So, when I announced that I would be making a pilgrimmage to my neighborhood Best Buy yesterday to get the US dvd, my husband gave me this very strange look.

"But ... you already have that movie. You've had it for months. You must have watched it about ten thousand times."

I smile and nod, as if to say, "And your point?"

He repeats, "But ... you already have that movie. You've had it for months. You must have watched it about ten thousand times."

I nod again, and reply, "Yes, but now I can make screencaps!" *said with the starry-eyed look of a true addict*

Otakudom -- it's not for pansies. ^.^

(I also picked up HP & the Goblet of Fire while I was at the store. YAY!)

Heh, heh.

Well, I'm not really poking Crystal, actually. I'm putting up this little post (at the risk of embarrassing Crystal to no end) to poke everyone else about her gorgeous artwork. I just added a beautiful, beautiful print of D (that's Mr. Vampire Hunter D to most of us --- LOL) on horseback into my cel gallery.

Here's the URL, so be sure to stop by and give it the loving adoration it so richly deserves: http://geckoblue.rubberslug.com/gallery/inv_info.asp?ItemID=148063

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Well, I've had to face up to the fact that I'm totally boring in my "old age". My hubby and I rang the new year in in style --- by cuddling up under the covers and watching Howl's Moving Castle. We watched it in English first, since that was the hubster's preference. Then, tonight, I went back and, finally, got to watch it in Japanese. Actually, I startd watching the Japanese version last night, but I fell asleep in the middle. Oh, yeah ... you have no idea how old and decrepit I feel typing that! *sweatdrop* Anyhow, today, I finished up the Japanese version, and it was every bit as wonderful as I had expected it to be.

I have to say, though, I actually really liked the English dub. *looks for a hiding place from rabid, anti-dub fans* I actually liked Billy Crystal's version of Calcifer a lot. And, I thought Christian Bale did one heckuva sexay Howl. I liked the person who voiced Sophie in the English version, too.

But, can I just say ... Howl's Japanese voice ...

...
...

*falls over in a fangirl faint*

For the most part, I didn't prefer one version over the other ... but I adored (ADORED!!!) Howl's voice in the Japanese version. It just made me want to melt away into a puddle of fangirl goo. It was so, so purrrrfect, and so, so "Howl". Needless to say, I will be watching the Japanese version many more times, just to hear that lovely voice! Aw, heck ... I'll just be honest and admit that, likely, I'll be watching the English version a lot, too. I love this movie!!!

Hmmm ... and, I guess that's about all I have to say today. See --- told you guys I was boring! (LOL)

EEEEEE!

EEEEEEEE!! EEEE! EEEEEEEE!!!

Howl's Moving Castle film cubes ... on ebay ...

And, now, two of them will be coming to live with me!

EEEEEEEEE!!!!

(Yes, I really am this pathetic in real life. Scary, ain't it? >_<)

For some reason, that line, one of my favorites out of Inu Yasha, just popped into my head. I loved it when he tapped Kagome on the head and said: "Your brain is busted or something ..." That Inu ... what a way with words, huh? That's probably why I love him so as an anime character. (< this is typed sarcasm, in case you didn't realize it ... just wanted to make sure). Really, I love him because of the ears.

What's up with that, anyhow? I mean, in real life, if you ran across someone with dog ears ... well, let's just say you'd spend a lot of time figuring out which was the proper authority to notify --- the Humane Society? the Police? the Zoo? You definitely wouldn't walk up to the dog-eared person and say, in your best fangirl squeal .... "Oooh! Oooh! Ears! I wanna glomp!" But, yet, when I see Inu, with those kawaii little ears of his, I just want to glomp the stuffings out of him. Go figure.

Just in case you hadn't realized it already ... there is not going to be any point to this entry. It's just a bunch of mindless rambling.  Sort of a memory dump thing ... so that I can get my brain to settle down before I head off to bed. I took a nap earlier today, and had a really horrible dream --- so horrible, in fact, that I don't even want to think about it, much less write about it. So, I won't. But ... still, it's there, in the back of my mind, you know? At times like these, I find a bit of mindless nattering kind of helps the situation a bit. So ... here I go .. nattering away (some more).

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Well ... haven't updated in a while.  I'm not so sure if that's because nothing "noteworthy" happens in my life, or if it's because I'm too busy living --- going through the minutia of every day --- that I just don't feel I have the time.  Hmmm --- something to think about.

I have felt rather busy.  I have three fanfics in development right now --- two Weiss Kreuz ones, and an Orphen one --- and, I've been working on some orginal writing, too.  So, I have tried to devote a lot of time to those projects.  Plus, I've gotten a lot of new anime images scanned in, so I have been a wallpaper making fool.  New artwork always seems to do that to me, for some reason.

I have suffered a huge anime tragedy, too, which has kept me pretty busy.  I have a huge anime collection --- probably over 300 discs.  I consider it a testament to my mis-spent days of plenty of disposable income, all of which I was more than happy to "dispose" of on anime.  Anyhow, I had my discs stored in multi-media binders, which hold 300 discs each, and I discovered, by accident, that the binder covers had bent from the weight of all the discs stored in there and warped some of my DVDs.  I am really so upset.  I found out this past weekend, and I'm still whining and crying over it.  I guess I will be for some time to come.  It's just so upsetting, when you spend so much time and money putting something together, and when it's so important to you, to see it ruined through no fault of your own.  I guess that'll teach me not to get too attached to material things in the future, eh?  So far, I've gone through about 240 of the discs, to separate out what works from what doesn't, and I've found about 30 that are "broken".  I guess that's pretty good, considering that I have a lot of discs ... I mean, I could have found a lot more that were ruined.  But, each ruined one is like a little needle through my heart: 9 Rurouni Kenshin discs, including some of the best ones in the series --- the fight with Aoshi, the fight with Shishio, the fight with Soujouro; 1 Generator Gawl disc ... the final one, of course, which is the best one; 2 Fushigi Yugi discs, which only come as a box set ... at least, that's the only way I've ever seen them --- lucky for me the two ruined discs were out of the same set; 1 Getter Robo disc --- I hope it's not a box-set only ... I think I purchased it as a box, but I believe I've seen individual discs in the store; 4 Slayers discs --- 2 out of each box set I own; 2 Berserk discs; 1 Vampire Princess Miyu --- and I had just completed that series, too ... and, well, the list goes on and on and on ... each one like a lost friend.  Deep and heavy sigh.

I might be able to fix them.  A friend sent over an article about re-flattening warped CDs, and it seems like it'd work with DVDs, too, since they're basically the same, construction-wise.  I guess it's worth a try ... the discs are ruined, anyhow, so I have nothing to lose.  Failing that, I guess I'm going to have to start digging around on the Internet for cost-effective replacements, since I no longer have the disposable income I once had.  Arg!  The pain!!  The agony!!  The humanity!!

The good news is that I got a new "storage system" for the discs.  I found new binders --- hard plastic outsides, and they hold a lot fewer discs.  I filled one up and then stared at it for hours, trying to make sure the discs were staying flat ... I don't want to have to go through this again!  But, it looks like the new "books" are going to be OK.  I have 4 of them filled so far (80 discs each), and I need to purchase some more for the rest of the collection.  I had two of the "bendy" binders ... but, the second one wasn't nearly full, so I think the discs in there should be OK --- as in, not warped (I hope).  Still, there's no way I'm leaving them in there!

So, long time ... no update, eh?  Well, things have been busy.  Writer's Block still has a firm grasp on my muse, so I'm temporarily suffering from brain freeze in the writing department.  It's horribly frustrating, but I'm trying to look on the bright side of things.

I'm telling myself it's just temporary.  Please, please, please just let it be temporary.  I think it's just a factor of a lot of interferences in my thought process coming together to freeze creative thought out of my brain.  A sort of "real life" squeeze play, if you will.  Still, it's scary. Each time it happens to me ... and, it happens --- let's face it ... being stumped at times is part of the creative process --- I'm terrified that this is it ... the end ... the last time I'll ever be able to write creatively or express myself through a work of fiction ... finito ... curtains ... whatever you want to call it.  And, that thought scares the hell out of me.  Seriously, it makes my blood run cold.  Writing is important to me.  I gave it up once --- for almost seven years --- and I just don't want to do it again.  I don't think I can do that again.  So, what would it mean if I couldn't write ... if the "block" wasn't really a "block", but a cessation of thought, a loss of ability?  It's a funny thing, though.  The more you think about writer's block, the worse it becomes ... like, it's caused by stress and obsessing over it just magnifies that stress and makes everything worse.  But, when you're stuck in the throes of it ... it seems like all you can do is obsess over it.  It's a vicious, vicious circle.  A dog chasing its tail.  A hamster on a wheel.  Whatever ...

Anyhow ... enough of the petty whining.  Back to those positives ... the silver lining behind my black thunderhead of doom.

Well, the creative urge hasn't completely fled.  Muse is just resting ... not dead.  So, I've managed to channel my frustrated energy into completing a bunch of housekeeping-type tasks that have, thus far, gotten lost in the fury of creativity I was pouring into my writing until just recently.  So ... scanned in some really great, beautiful artwork from my most recent Gravitation manga purchases, including a really choice pic of Hiro on his motorcycle.  Yay!  I just love that Hiro!  Anyhow ... I digress.  I also finally got my Ranma 1/2 artbook scans done, as well as one of my Inu Yasha illustration books and some terrific artwork from some of the Saiyuki DVDs.  And, the pay off --- you guessed it!  Wallpapery Goodness!!!  So far, my battle with the demons of writer's block has yielded 3 new Saiyuki papers, 5 new Ranma papers, 2 new Gravitation papers, 1 new Inu Yasha paper, and 1 new Weiss paper.  Not too shabby for a washed-up, has-been writer, if I do say so myself.

All in all ... even given Muse's damned inconvenient temporary hibernation, I'm feeling pretty good about things...