Knife to the Heart ...

[texchan]

So my daughter is dawdling over her breakfast this morning (of course, since she has to be at camp by 9 AM, as opposed to all the days when she has nowhere to be and eats quickly >.O). Every day that my mom was here, she would tell me about this HUGE breakfast she ate -- well, huge for her, anyhow: fruit, cereal, two cups of chocolate milk, yadda, yadda, yadda. This morning, though, it was a struggle to get her to eat even a part of a banana and a handful of cereal. In total frustration, I ask her: "Why do you eat so well when Nana is here, but this morning, you don't want to eat at all?"

Her reply: "Because I like Nana better than you."

zOMG. Knife, meet Heart.

It made me want to cry. Seriously. I had a hard time holding it together, but I managed. I was honest and told her that hurt my feelings, but that it was OK for her to feel that way.

And I can understand it. I mean, I have my own issues with my mom, but she is totally different with my daughter. She is fun and funny and just ... different.

Still, there was this little part of me ... this little kid inside my head screaming: "HOW COULD YOU LIKE HER MORE? YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT SHE'S LIKE!!!"

*sigh*

Comments

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Well, firstly, you have to know that's not true.

I said ALL sorts of things to my own mom growing up. Didn't we all?

Plus, keep in mind Nana is most like not enforcing bedtimes, chores, homework etc. on a day to day basis like I assume you are. So the kid saying things like that would be understandable (but on a superficial level).

If you say something like, "You don't know what she's like" - be glad of it! You wouldn't really want her to, would you?

[tex-chan.livejournal.com]

Yes, this is true -- that I know it's not true, even if that might be how she feels at that particular moment in time. And I tried to remind myself of that. (I still cried a little, though, after I dropped her off at camp. I didn't want her to see me crying. =S)

And you're also totally right that Nana enforces none of the rules. Which is funny, considering how many rules there were when I was growing up. Now, though, she's all the fun with none of the consequences or responsibilities. I guess that's the way it's supposed to be with grandparents, although I have no personal experience with that. (I never had grandparents. Well, one grandmother on my dad's side, but she was not a very nice person -- definitely not one of those "bake-cookies-for-you-and-let-you-skip-bedtime" sorts of grannies. LOLz)

If you say something like, "You don't know what she's like" - be glad of it! You wouldn't really want her to, would you?

Absolutely True! I would never want my daughter to have the same type of relationship (which is rather strained) I have with my mom. That was one of the things I promised myself when I found out that I was going to have a child: that I would make sure my own child came to a relationship with my parents (and especially my mom) without that extra baggage. So that they could accept each other freely and establish their own way. So, really, I'm glad my daughter feels this way, because it proves that I've been able to keep my own feelings and uncertainties out of her relationship with Nana. And I'm glad that my daughter feels free to love her, you know? (Even if hearing it did make me cry a bit. >.O)

*GLOMS* =D

[genuinelie.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it still has to be harsh to hear that, regardless.

I guess ust think of it as training for the teenage years O_O

*BIG BIG BIG HUGS*

[tex-chan.livejournal.com]

I guess just think of it as training for the teenage years

LOL!! I love that! I think it's exactly what I'm going to do, too. *gloms* =D